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Seeking Happiness

A Life Changing Experience

This article is different than others I’ve shared on this website. It is story that I will continue to draw on for the rest of my life. It has profoundly changed who I am and how I live my life. Here is goes…

A Day Engrained in My Mind


As I drifted off to sleep, I never would have imagined what would transpire. The quickest way to describe it, my soul was reborn. But I think the full story is more interesting.

It was February 14, 2020. My daughter and I had spent the day traveling from Central Oregon to Kansas City, MO, for a volleyball tournament. Since the players stayed together, I had a room all to myself. After checking in to my hotel room, I took my meds and got ready for bed. 

As I drifted to sleep, I recall thinking about my career path. A year prior, my father-in-law, Dave, passed away January 2019. His passing resulted in reconsidering what I was doing with my life. Was I truly living a life I desired? Or was I going through the motions and straying from my goals, aspirations, and desires? As a result, I dissolved my online private nutrition practice. By March 2019, I started pursuing a passion close to my heart. I started making and selling uplifting products online, such as shirts, coffee mugs, and stickers. I was finally on the path I was meant to live.

Visions of Sugar-Plums Bliss Danced in My Heart

In that relaxed state just before falling asleep, thoughts of gratitude for finding my purpose in life swirled through my mind. From this point forward, my life would never be the same. 

A gradual sensation started in my legs and worked its way up my body. It was a feeling of every cell vibrating in my body. I sunk into the mattress while the vibrating sensation slowly consumed my body. As I melted into the bed beneath me, any worry, stress, or pain carried throughout my body was released. For the first time in my life, the anxiety carried in my abdomen melted away.

A profound feeling of warmth came over me. It felt as though I was in a bath of water at exactly the perfect temperature – not too hot, not too cold. It was the Goldy Locks effect – every surface of my being was in a metaphorical bath of just the right warmth.

As the confines of my body blurred, I felt the true meaning of bliss. I immediately recognized it as Love. This incredible feeling was the result of no longer being in my body. I could feel the door to my right on the other side of the room. To the left, there was the window, and we were connected. I was everywhere and nowhere. The words “One with the Universe” suddenly had a new meaning.

When you are everywhere, you are nowhere. When you are somewhere, you are everywhere.

Rumi

A Light at the End of the Tunnel

What started in the darkness of sleep became illuminated with a light I’d never experienced. It shined on everything around me. I could see the entire room with clarity, despite being asleep.

Either immediately before or after experiencing the bright illumination, I could feel my soul traveling at a rapid pace. At the tunnel’s end was a sense of awe and wonder. What came next was the most influential part of the experience.

My Angels

The next thing I remember was the presence of three glowing spheres to my right. Their presence brought me peace. While I didn’t see them in their physical form, I knew they were my family members who had passed on in the years before that day. They were my angels. To my left, there was another presence, but an image I could no longer recall. If I had to guess, it was what people call God, Spirit, or All-Knowing (I AM). 

I basked in a state of awe as I learned about the miracles of the Universe. But it was short-lived. A message was telepathically shared with me. At first, I didn’t want to accept the words. “It’s not your time. You must return.” There was reluctance on my behalf to listen.

The feeling of Love was profound, some would say it was a state of Nirvana, and I wanted to experience it forever. I knew if I stayed, that would be my new reality. But, an image was shown to me to ensure I recognized what would happen if I didn’t listen. It was the following day, and my body was in bed. My soul was over the bed as the room service attendant walked into the room to clean. She found me lifeless in the bed. This time, I recognized what was happening.

I couldn’t be in this place because my family still needed me. One last message was shared, “You have to leave this room tonight, or you will die.”

Reality Set Back In

I was upset as the embodiment of “I don’t want to die” took over my soul. Instantly, I was slammed back into my body, my heart beating harder than ever. All the stress, anxiety, and tension I carried with me from day to day had returned.

What had just happened to me was profound yet confusing. I couldn’t understand it. I was in a disoriented state. Was it a dream? Or something else? Despite a state of confusion, there wasn’t time to contemplate what had happened. 

A sense of terror overcame me. I needed to remain in this form for my family, especially my kids. I knew I couldn’t be in the room any longer. So, I rolled out of bed to leave the room. I grabbed my phone and room key.

As my body moved down the hallway, it felt like I was in my body one moment and watching myself walk the next. Thoughts of fear flooded my mind when I returned to my physical essence, “This is exactly how episodes of 20/20 start. The person was last seen on surveillance cameras in the lobby of a hotel, and then they just vanish.”

These thoughts plagued my mind as I walked to the lobby restaurant and bar. I needed to get water and eat. While standing in front of the bar top, a man tried to talk to me. Again, the inner dialogue of fear crept in. “Is this guy going to kill me? Is this why I needed to leave the room? Don’t say anything. You gotta keep yourself safe.”

Finally, the bartender came over to me and a sense of relief set in. My first request was for a menu, to which he replied, “Sorry, the kitchen is closed, but you can order room service.” Irrational thoughts returned. ‘But I can’t go back to the room tonight,’ echoed in my mind. I shook it off and asked for water.

With my water in one hand, I picked up my phone to return to an unsafe space. As I looked at the lock screen, it was 11:11 pm. A sense of reassurance came over me, and I reluctantly returned to the room. I needed food, even if it meant returning to that unsafe place.

What Was the Danger of the Room?

As I anxiously waited for room service to arrive, I wrote down as many of the things I had just experienced as possible. As I thought about the last words shared with me, my thoughts went to the heater that had kicked on as I drifted off to sleep earlier.

My first instinct was to make sure there wasn’t anything wrong with the heater. I called the front desk. A flood of questions left my mouth, “Do you have carbon monoxide detectors in the rooms? Can you see the status of the detector at the front desk? Or is it in my room? Are you alerted if the carbon monoxide levels are too high?”

The front desk attendant reassured me they had sensors in all the rooms, and every room had a green light on it to signify there was no carbon monoxide detected in my room (or any others). This was followed by a question, “Do you want me to send a maintenance worker up to your room to confirm?” Again, irrational thoughts flooded my mind. I quickly blurted out, “No,” and hung up.

My mind continued to spiral. They couldn’t send a maintenance person. I thought, ‘that’s why you had to leave the room, or you’d die.’ I continued to contemplate everything with untamed suspicions. ‘Alright. It’s not the carbon monoxide; it’s the maintenance worker.’ More fear crept in, ‘is it the room service attendant?

Not long after this, there was a knock at the door. It was the room service attendant. I reassured myself he wasn’t the grim reaper in disguise. I quickly took the plate of fries and closed the door. I needed to make sure he didn’t have enough time to get in the room.

With the plate in my hand, I stood in the entryway of the room for a couple of minutes, waiting for the hallway to clear. As I exited the room, I again made my way to the lobby.

An hour or so later, I had finished the fries and calmed down enough to return to my room. After double and triple-checking to ensure everything was safe in my room, I crawled back into bed for the night.

Grasping at What I had Experienced

The following morning, a state of disorientation persisted. There were so many questions about what had happened the night before. Was it all one wild dream? What was that feeling?

While I could not comprehend what had happened, I knew one thing: That feeling was incredible, and I wanted to return.

The rest of the day was felt with a lingering sense of what I had experienced the night before. The cells in my legs would periodically vibrate like they did before everything started. In between these sensations, I also felt as though the Universe was reassuring and pushing me to remember to Trust.

Words that Ring in My Ear

This whole thing took place while I was in Kansas City for a volleyball tournament. So, the following day I needed to get ready to watch my daughter play. The event was held at the convention center, and I needed a wristband to enter. Given my foggy state, I asked a friend to go with me. 

She assisted me in checking in to get the wristband. It was something I’d sworn I bought ahead of time. However, I couldn’t find my confirmation information. The young guy behind the counter didn’t know what to do, so he called someone over to help. 

Before I knew it, the other man who came to help said, “Give me your wrist.” He put the wristband on me and told me to enjoy the tournament.

Instantly, a flood of warmth and that feeling of Love came over my body. This time it was accompanied by a message shared in my mind, “Everything is unfolding exactly as intended. You must learn to Trust the Universe.”

It felt like the reassurance that what had occurred the night before was real. It was the start of something new. I needed to live my life by this new mantra.

Since that Night

Upon my return from my experience with Love, my body was lifeless. That is until an intense beat started in my chest. My heart beat like it never had before. It symbolized a new version of myself being brought into the world. My essence had gone through a metaphorical rebirth. My life was forever changed from that point forward.

In the nearly three years since this experience, many things have shifted. While the first several months were spent longing to return to that state of peace and Love, it was not my time.

To capture the same state with my life intact, I took to meditating. While it can be challenging to recreate the bliss experienced that night, I have returned a few times. Each time I welcome it with extreme gratitude and appreciation.

I was lucky enough to go to the other side, experience such a powerful understanding of Love, and return to this life to share with others.

What Happened?

As described, there were times I questioned what had happened that night. But, in the days and years since, it is clear I had a near-death experience.

You might wonder, ‘how did that happen?’ Well, I was sick with COVID at the time. Yes, even though it was believed it hadn’t made its way to the United States. The weekend before all this, I had attended a volleyball tournament with people from all over the Pacific Northwest. As you might remember, the first reported case in the US was in Washington state just three weeks before this. And there were players from Washington at the event.

What started as the ‘flu’ became a monthly-long sickness. It caused me some pretty bad respiratory issues, which I believe were at the heart of what happened that night. Unfortunately, it has resulted in long-lasting respiratory issues. After everything settled, I would get winded just walking to the mailbox in the front yard. Still, I have a lingering cough. Hopefully, in the near future, the cough will go away. But I am happy to have my life in exchange.

In the End

Before this experience, I had a fear of death. Of course, this isn’t an uncommon feeling. But, having been to that place of Love, I welcome the day I return.

For now, I know that I am nowhere near ready to go back. There are still too many things that need to be accomplished in this life before I will be welcomed back by my ancestors. 

Until then, I will try my hardest to live a life purpose. And, when possible, I meditate to return to that euphoric state.

A couple more thoughts before we part

This is my near-death experience story and what it is like to cross over to the other side. While I used words we commonly share in conversations, it doesn’t fully embody the beauty waiting for us. It feels as though words in the English language don’t do any justice to what I felt. But I’ve done my best to I can articulate everything. All I can say is when we meet the end of our life – there is an abundant amount of Love and beauty waiting for us.

As I’ve read the accounts of others, it is apparent there are some common threads to the stories shared by those of us who return. If you are interested in reading more stories about near-death experiences, you can find some on the Near Death Experience Research Foundation’s website.

Hopefully, sharing this story may help to positively influence your life in one way or another. And give you reassurance there is something better waiting for us when we meet our maker.

Keep these words in the back of your mind

Everything is unfolding as intended. Trust the Universe will provide.

Sending Love your way.

XOXO Kristi

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