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You’re Fine — Stop Crying

As a kid, pretty much anytime I was upset I would hear any of the following phrases: 

  • Stop crying (or pouting)
  • You’re fine; it’s not that bad
  • Suck it up

While I didn’t know it at the time, these phrases inadvertently told me to stop acknowledging my true feelings and to put on a happy face to make other people comfortable.

Growing older, I continued these same types of toxic positivity each time I would get upset about something. No longer did I need someone to tell me to stop crying or I was fine (even when I wasn’t).

What happened from pushing down feelings for 30+ years?

Let’s start this with a caveat — Everyone is different. The results of pushing down my own feelings for over 30 years is likely very different than you. For the sake of demonstrating what it can look like, here is what happened to me….

After pushing down my feelings for 30+ years, I would cry. And, when I say cry, I mean C-R-Y. Tears would fall down my face as a result of almost anything. Even a not-so sappy commercial about soup. Yea, a commercial!! About SOUP!! {Who does that? Oh, me!}

I cried for pretty much anything. For any reason. And, no matter how hard I would try to “suck it up” the tears would well-up in my eyes.

Yes, I am a sensitive soul. Don’t get me wrong. But, this was at a different level.

It was almost as if each time I cried at a commercial, my crying was for all those times I was told to stop crying. 

Your Turn — Have You Held Back Your Feelings?

  • Did you hear similar messages as a kid (or even recently)?
  • Have you heard these messages so frequently that you find yourself saying them now? To yourself OR to friends/family members?
  • When was the last time you allowed yourself to feel your feelings?
  • Do you even remember a time where you felt your true feelings without judging yourself?
  • Do you get emotional for others? As in you find yourself crying easily when you are watching a commercial or TV show?
  • Do you judge yourself for crying in these situations?

If you said yes to any one of these questions above, it might be time to take a minute to step back and look at everything from a different view point.

You may find that you have been repressing your feelings for so long that when you cry at that commercial… you are really crying for something that hurt as a child, but you weren’t allowed to feel your true feelings in the moment.

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