What does Radical Self-Care mean to you?
For myself, I recently described it to a women’s group like this…
Think back to when Nirvana was just getting their start in Seattle. Grunge was a new, upcoming style of music. It was not yet accepted as mainstream. Nirvana was considered radical because it was not something that had been done before then.
Now, think about self-care.
Many of us have grown up in a society that rewards pushing oneself well-past their limits, for prioritizing others’ needs over their own, and ignoring our basic needs such as getting adequate sleep and making time to engage in regular physical activity.
I Didn’t Get Enough Sleep Last Night
When was the last time you got into a pissing match with someone over how little sleep you got the night before. The conversations usually go something like…
Person A: “Oh, my. I am really tired today. I didn’t get enough sleep last night.”
Person B: “Tell me about it. I only got 5 hours of sleep last night.”
Person A: “Uh, I would have loved to have gotten 5 hours of sleep. I had a hard time falling asleep. And, when I finally did, I was woken up by my kids (animal or a list of other reasons…) and couldn’t go back to sleep. In all, I probably had less than 4 hours of sleep.”
Person B: “I completely understand what you mean. Five hours was a lot for me. I usually average around 4 or 4.5 hours a night.”
These conversations happen All. The. Time. As if we are proud of the fact we don’t get enough sleep at night. SMH
Back to Radical Self-Care
When we talk about radical self-care. Well, I relate it to those early days of Nirvana just hitting the music scene. Grunge is a very specific style of music and wasn’t widely accepted at first. Right!?
Well, Self-care is a novel idea to many people these days. We have not widely accepted it in society.
You can say that self-care is very much underground (or often associated with spending a lot of money on yourself). Therefore, taking a stance and prioritizing ones’ self-care is considered a radical concept.
This leads us to the next part of our conversation, defining self-care. Because, truth is, we haven’t actually been taught what self-care means.
Remember, this is not a widely accepted concept in our society.
What is Self-Care?
Self-care is NOT…
- Going to the spa
- Getting a massage or facial
- Having your nails done at the nail salon
- Splurging on a bunch of new clothes or makeup
- Basically, spending money on expensive things and making it so you can only engage in those activities once in a blue moon.
Self-care IS…
- Saying “No” when you don’t want to do something instead of allowing someone to guilt or pressure your into saying “Yes.”
- Prioritizing your own needs before others. Think of it as putting on your oxygen mask before putting it on the child next to you.
- Telling someone you need to take a break or need alone time. (Fun fact: My oldest and I call it “being a kitty.”)
- Asking for what you need from others.
- Dedicating 5-10 minutes of your day to meditation, yoga, or spending time outside.
Full disclosure, some of these self-care ideas can be difficult to implement. Especially if you have not previously practiced them. So, practice self-compassion by allowing yourself time and space to learn these things.
Disclaimer: Now, if you are the type of person who enjoys getting regular manicures. Cool. That’s fine. Go for it! My intention here is not to make you feel guilty about it. Instead, I am trying to make sure I convey that spending money is not the only way to engage in self-care.
Wrapping it Up
Today, I challenge you to do one thing as an act of self-care.
Take action. Make it happen. Oh, it doesn’t have to be a big production either. Simply sprinkling some essential oil in the shower before hoping in can work. Be sure to focus on taking some deep breaths while in there too.
